I don't know who will emerge from this wreckage but I feel it won't be pretty. I have been completely crushed under the weight of it all, I don't know how much more I can take. I go day by day pretending with a smirk or a smile and I know I may seem a bit chaotic, I assure you it's because I am. There is no "fixing" this, there are no words that can undo what has been done. It's up to my body mind and soul to decide if it can take anymore. I just wish that I had mattered enough to anyone, then maybe, just maybe.. I wouldn't have wound up here. Scared, broken and completely alone in my darkness.
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