Wandering

Wandering.

I'm wondering.

Where you are.

Wondering when you left.

For a moment I turned.

And you were in her arms.

Arm around waist walking out the door.

Never knew a face could fall so far.

Now the tears start to stream down my sullen face.

I couldn't remember the time or the exact place.

I wandered out into the cool crisp air.

Felt the sharp pain as I screamed.

Your name captured by the trees.

Lips are blue and quivering.

Searching everywhere for you.

Wondering what happened.

I'm alone.

Wandering.

Let me burn you

How quickly you found a way to sink in

I feel you around me and under my skin

I prayed to the heavens let it begin

Fill up this hole the space that's within

Smiles become brighter and hard to contain

A simple request and you will obtain

a daring fire like no other

Leave you in ashes, a smoldering wonder. 

Feed me

How can I express this desire you've put to the test? This aching need seems so full of greed. These Hunger pangs for your richness I crave. Fallen to my knees I shake and it's hard to breath. Only you can fill these need, this hunger that keeps me weak you see. And you feed me ever so sporadically, while you get your fill and I starve at your will.

Do I matter?

What does it mean to you to mean something to someone else? Is it enough for them to tell you that you matter, or do you need them to show you? Would you rather have words without feeling or feeling without words? At some point we stop believing words because the actions of others never show them to be true. Someone will tell you they love you one minute and start flirting with a random person the next. Is that love? I don't think so... If someone matters that much to you, you make it a point to never hurt them even if they aren't around to know about it. Because the idea of hurting them should hurt you too. If that's not the case I'd say that person definitely deserves better than you. Don't we all deserve that?

I'm rambling now... But really I'm trying to figure it all out now. I've never felt like I was worth very much only because others have made me feel that way, perhaps not intentionally but actions always outweigh words...always. I know better though, I know who I am and I know what I have to offer, and most importantly I know what I deserve. But that doesn't necessarily mean I'll ever find it. I can only hope that someone can be as good to me as I am to them. I can only hope that I will matter half as much as they matter to me. But most importantly... I hope that I can matter enough to myself to never allow someone to make me feel meaningless ever again.

Find you

I would die a hundred deaths
Just to find you here in this place
Your heart calls from across time and space
My heart knows every curve of your face
And when I find you
My hand you will take
We'll walk along slowly
We'll know it was fate